Chapter 77: The Wanderer, Never to Return

The man before him, dressed in elegant black robes and holding an ancient tome, was indeed Lu Tingfang, whom he had not seen for two long years. Though his demeanor had changed greatly, his features remained much the same—his hair had grown long, and he stood a little taller. But Lu Xin himself had changed; after taking the Bone-Forging Pill and practicing swordsmanship, he had transformed from a half-grown child into a tall, handsome youth. In Lu Tingfang’s eyes, he was almost unrecognizable.

“Brother Tingfang, the day you left, Grandpa Tu fell from the roof while fixing our leaky house and died. He always feared fire most in life—I couldn’t bear to watch his body be lost to the flames. To bury Grandpa Tu, I sold myself into service at the Xu household. Do you remember Xu Sanjin, the wealthiest man in Yuezhou? It was at his estate that I met Cao An and Uncle Wu. They are good people, but I still wanted to leave, to come to Chang’an, to find you in the city. Brother Tingfang, it’s been nearly three years since we came to this world. I want to go back, to return with you…”

“Enough! Xiaoxin, you shouldn’t have come to Chang’an. You shouldn’t be here!”

Suddenly, Lu Tingfang cut him off sharply. He lowered his arm, clutching the ancient tome tightly. He clearly believed that the youth before him was his long-lost cousin—but his face showed only pain, and none of the joy of reunion.

“Brother? What’s wrong?” Lu Xin was stunned, a trace of confusion marring his already pale face. The warmth, the kindness, the sunny smile of the boy he once knew seemed gone.

“Brother Tingfang, what’s wrong? It’s me, Xiaoxin. It took me so much effort to reach Chang’an, to find you. Why… why shouldn’t I have come?”

“Time and space are in turmoil, the heavens in upheaval… Under this mysterious Way, no other soul from our world should be here. Xiaoxin, why didn’t you stay in Yuezhou, in Xiaoxi Town?”

Lu Tingfang’s gaze grew unfocused as he looked at his once-beloved cousin, as if facing someone who filled him with dread and fear—a sense of estrangement, as though one stood in the sky and the other on the earth.

“Stay in Xiaoxi Town? Brother, Grandpa Tu is dead. How could I survive alone in that cold, empty house? Don’t joke, Brother Tingfang, come with me—let’s return to Yuezhou, light incense at Grandpa Tu’s grave.”

Struggling to stand, Lu Xin forced a faint smile as he looked at the man not far away. But Lu Tingfang would not meet his gaze; arms behind his back, he stared into the blue heavens.

“Life and death are fated, as grass and trees wither in autumn. Ordinary folk all die in the end. Grandpa Tu… I can barely remember his face. But in this world, perhaps living was no kindness to him.”

“Brother, what are you saying? How could living not be a kindness? He was Grandpa Tu! He gave us food, gave us clothing, treated us like his own grandsons. Isn’t it said that good people are rewarded? Why couldn’t Grandpa Tu live a long life? Why shouldn’t good people be allowed to live in this world?”

Lu Xin’s eyes widened in disbelief. He wanted to go to his cousin, to embrace him, but his trembling hands faltered after a single step.

Was this truly the Brother Tingfang he’d longed for all these years?

“Xiaoxin, don’t you see? This is a world—there is hope here.”

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“What hope? Lu Tingfang, you truly have changed. You don’t even remember Grandpa Tu. What have you been doing these past two years?”

“What have I been doing? Hahahaha… Xiaoxin, if there are differences between people, what then of gods and men? Look closely—this is hope!”

Lu Tingfang turned, his gaze icy. He stretched out his right hand, and a plume of violet-red flame sprang to life in his palm. At the same moment, seven talismans flew from his sleeve, hovering above his head, emitting a golden glow. In that instant, Lu Tingfang looked like a deity from a painting.

Daoist True Fire, mastering seven arts at once.

In less than three years, Lu Tingfang had progressed from an ordinary man to the seventh level of the Void-Gazing Realm. Even Lu Xin found this astonishing.

But he had no emotions left for surprise. No matter how far his cousin advanced, he was still the family he shared blood with, still the cousin who once held him as a child. Yet that person had changed—become unrecognizable, strange, and frightening.

“An Onmyoji… Brother, you truly are a prodigy. But you’re not of this world. You still have to go back. Uncle, Aunt, and Grandpa—they’re all waiting for us. This is not hope.”

“Hahaha, if this is not hope, then what is? Xiaoxin, even now, you still wish to return? Yes, everyone is waiting for us. But can you truly go back? Do you know why we crossed into this world? It wasn’t some damned accident, nor some nonsense about physics or relativity! Our travel to the past, our arrival in the early Tang—someone in this world is orchestrating everything! This is the power of gods—immortality, mastery over time and space—this is hope. But in the world we came from, it is no longer possible to become immortal!”

Lu Tingfang laughed wildly, a mad sound. Lu Xin remembered the day they parted, how this very person had stood in the street, watching the crowds, and laughed in just such a crazed and terrifying way. The dreams of youth had, it seemed, come true after two years.

But they had never been Lu Xin’s dreams.

“Become immortal? Brother, let me call you that one last time. Perhaps to you, gods and men, immortals and mortals, are worlds apart. But to me, whether ordinary folk or Onmyoji, one must not forget the essence of being human. If you sever all emotion and desire, forget the kindness of others, forget the love of your parents, then even if you become immortal, what of it? Can you repay what they gave you? Could you ever repay it?”

“Hah! What do you know of Onmyoji? What do you know of emotion and desire? Xiaoxin, ‘Yin and Yang’ are the two sides of all things in heaven and earth. They are like the magnetic poles of this planet—unseen, intangible, yet affecting everything. It is a cold power, devoid of feeling.”

Lu Tingfang stepped forward, laughing maniacally at the sky beyond the eaves. Following his gaze, Lu Xin saw the horizon grown dim; the dying rays of sunset had vanished completely. The moon leapt from the depths of time and space, gazing coldly down upon the earth. In that moment, the night wind was chill, and hearts colder still.

Blood welled once more at the corner of Lu Xin’s mouth; clutching his chest, he staggered back, pain lancing through him.

After more than two years of longing, the one he waited for was gone. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks. Lu Xin understood—he was utterly alone in this world.

“Xiaoxin! ‘One Yin, one Yang—that is the Way.’ As the sun and moon alternate, as tides rise and fall, as life and death cycle, as seas turn to mulberry fields and back again! All things in this world are no more than man and woman, good and evil, strength and weakness, length and brevity… all of these are Yin and Yang. At the world’s genesis, Yin and Yang gave rise to all things, then came the Five Elements, the essence of sun and moon, the rivers, mountains, seas and the stars above! A mortal’s life is barely a hundred years—sometimes only ten or twenty. But the heavens? They endure forever, immortal! Tell me, should I return to being an ordinary mortal, or become the heavens themselves?”

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“Very well, Lu Tingfang. In this world, become your immortal. As long as I live, I will one day return. I will care for Uncle and Aunt in your stead. Just think of me as a wanderer, whose return is unknown.”

Lu Xin finished softly, then turned to walk in the other direction. His face was devoid of expression now, pallid as death. Perhaps he truly should not have come to Chang’an. Perhaps their farewell at the long pavilion marked the end, and the person behind him was already a stranger—a mortal and an immortal, forever apart.

Lu Xin could not describe what he felt—only that his heart was empty, as if nothing could fill it.

“Wait!”

Lu Tingfang suddenly turned, casting a glance at the boy’s retreating back, then looking to the painting in the main hall.

“In just two years you have changed so much—surely you have had some great fortune. But Chang’an is a place of shifting winds, full of hidden dragons and crouching tigers, fraught with danger. I won’t ask where you got your wounds, nor how you came to be in the house of Zhangsun Wuji. But as your cousin, I must tell you: leave this place, the farther the better.”

“Are you worried for me? Heh… If you fear for my safety, why don’t you leave?”

“In the third year of Zhenguan, Li Shimin has just taken the throne. Heaven and earth are murky, dragons and serpents contend, and nothing is yet settled. The course of history remains uncertain. Yesterday, Xuanzang set out for India. His true aim is to resolve, by his own hand, the thousand-year strife between Buddhism and Daoism. If all is not settled before his return, then this world will remain as it was.”

“Settle what?” Lu Xin was startled, stopping in his tracks. Lu Tingfang’s words were increasingly incomprehensible.

“You don’t need to know. Go—leave this house, leave Chang’an, before my master returns.”

“Your master? Hahaha, I’m not afraid of him. Besides, I won’t leave. I will stay in Chang’an to assist Emperor Taizong. I don’t know what you and your master wish to settle, but I only wish to bring peace to this troubled land.”

“Hmph, such grand words! Lu Xin, my master is Yuan Tiangang—Yuan Tiangang! With a single ‘Back-Pushing Diagram’ he gazes through millennia to come. Do you know what powers he possesses? This world can no longer afford another who knows so many of Heaven’s secrets. Do you understand what I mean? Look up—this sky is constant; the sun endures for all ages. This world needs only one sun, only one Heaven!”

“Yuan Tiangang, is it? Hahaha… The world is ever-changing, always full of strange twists. My dear Brother Tingfang, have you ever thought that perhaps the one who wrote the ‘Back-Pushing Diagram’ was not your master, but us? The past is not necessarily gone, and the future—ever shifting as clouds—may change a thousand ways. Who can truly see through the ages to come?”