Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Unrivaled Twin Mandarin Duck Kicks

“Oh my goodness, what a handsome man! He’s so dashing, so beautiful!” Suddenly, a delighted shriek rang out from a woman.

Yakeshi’s hand darted to his knife hilt. “Who’s there? Come out!”

Two heads peeked out from either side of the tiger-skin throne behind the desk—hair coiled up, faces alluring, both young women. They slowly stood, graceful and charming, their bodies trembling slightly, but their lovely eyes never strayed from Lu Hu’s energetic, handsome face.

They were the Left Wise King’s personal maids, frightened by the chaos and hiding behind the chair to watch secretly. When they saw Lu Hu’s face, radiant as polished jade, with sword-like brows and star-bright eyes, upright and elegant as a jade tree in the wind, their hearts fluttered uncontrollably and praise spilled from their lips.

Beauties! Yakeshi and Shi Zhenxiang stared, both swallowing hard.

Lu Hu merely glanced at them, then turned to the Left Wise King. “Left Wise King Ba, why have you stopped cursing? Go on, curse to your heart’s content.”

“Oh my goodness, even his voice is beautiful! It’s so pleasant, so, so, so... I absolutely adore him!” The younger maid on the right squealed again, covering her face in embarrassment, swaying her body, but peeking through her fingers, gazing at Lu Hu with infatuation.

“Ugh!” Shi Zhenxiang felt a sour pang in his gut, but clenched his teeth and swallowed it down.

Yakeshi’s nose stung, nearly bursting into tears.

Alas! Following the Deity, everything else is wonderful, but in the eyes of these beauties, the Deity is a radiant sun, while we are just the green grass beneath…

“Who is tied to the pillar, and why has he been beaten so badly? Untie him at once and apply medicine for his wounds.” No sooner had Lu Hu spoken than the two maids rushed to the corner, fetched a basin of water from a bucket, one grabbed two clean towels, the other carried the water, and together they sashayed quickly back.

The guards cut the ropes and lowered Quan Dou Nan.

The two maids knelt and began to wash his wounds.

They were truly smart and attentive, surely handpicked by the Left Wise King.

Their actions annoyed the Left Wise King, who forgot his predicament for a moment. “You two wretched girls, serving outsiders without my permission? Each of you slap your own face fifty times!”

The maids trembled in fright, instinctively standing up, ready to slap themselves.

“Oh? Is the Left Wise King so mighty? Kexi, Zhenxiang—take turns slapping him. Fifty times each.” Lu Hu spoke lightly, as if chatting at home.

“At your command, Deity.” Yakeshi and Shi Zhenxiang bowed respectfully, then pounced like hungry tigers. Yakeshi stood behind the Left Wise King, lifting the wooden collar to make it easier for Shi Zhenxiang to strike.

Shi Zhenxiang, eager to impress before the two beauties, swung his arm in wide circles and slapped away.

“Heavens, it’s the Deity! An immortal, no wonder he’s so handsome. Love you, love you, love you to death!” The younger maid pressed her palms to her cheeks, blurting out her heartfelt confession.

She paid no mind to the sour, jealous faces of Shi Zhenxiang and Yakeshi.

---

This maid was candid and outspoken, which piqued Lu Hu’s curiosity. “Little girl, what’s your name? Where are you from?”

“I hail from the Danjiang Prefecture in New Binzhou, Dasheng. My name is Ma Lihong. When I was seven, my mother was abducted by barbarians, and my stepfather sold me to the Left Wise King’s palace. Two years ago, I became the King’s personal maid.”

“Oh!” Lu Hu nodded slightly. With a mother spirited away by barbarians, her nature was likely bold and unrestrained. With such a parent and growing up in the open customs of the Xilot tribe, her temperament was hardly unexpected.

Ma Lihong pointed to the slightly older maid. “Her name is Zhu Xiaoying, from Jiuyuan County. She was taken by the Left Wise King to the Xilot tribe at twelve.”

Zhu Xiaoying shot Ma Lihong a disgruntled look, then pressed the towel to Lu Hu’s side, speaking sweetly, “Deity, am I cleaning his wounds properly?”

Did they really need Lu Hu to teach how to tend wounds? These maids’ skills were indeed impressive—clearly the Left Wise King had trained them well.

Without much encouragement, they were already shining.

They were all servants, oppressed by others, and ought to help each other. Yet these two were secretly competing, vying for attention.

Lu Hu stepped back, avoiding their entanglement.

“You lot, who was first to capture the Left Wise King?” Lu Hu saw several guards eager for promotion and asked.

“Deity, I was the first inside.”

“Deity, I found the wooden collar first.”

“Deity, I was first to act—they didn’t dare move.”

“Who didn’t dare? You put the collar on yourself!”

“If I hadn’t acted first, would you have dared?”

“Stop pretending. I fear nothing, not even death. What wouldn’t I dare?”

The guards flushed, rolling up sleeves, ready to brawl for credit.

“All right, enough. No need to argue. You few will follow Shi the Great King as his personal guards.” Lu Hu couldn’t be bothered to settle their quarrels.

“Thank you, Deity, thank you!” Shi Zhenxiang would be the Xilot’s chief; serving as his personal guards was an honor without equal among the tribe.

Now Yakeshi was slapping, with Shi Zhenxiang holding the collar from behind.

The guards crowded around Shi Zhenxiang, each eager to support him, nearly sparking another scuffle.

After a hundred slaps, the Left Wise King’s face was tough—he gritted his teeth, not uttering a sound.

Perhaps his experience helped: when slapped, one must clench the jaw tightly, or all teeth would loosen and soon fall out.

---

The Left Wise King’s cheeks were a dark, glossy purple, swollen like pig bladders. He was stripped of all regal dignity, eyes closed, neck hunched, head lolling on the collar, bearing the look of a dead man.

“Hey, esteemed King—you’ve suddenly gained weight. You look vigorous, and your face is getting larger by the minute. Is there anyone else you’d like to punish by slapping?”

Lu Hu mocked him, seeking to crush his spirit in front of all.

“No, no, I dare not—I dare not!” The Left Wise King answered meekly, terrified of another beating.

His head was still buzzing from the slaps—any more and he’d be knocked senseless.

“King?” Lu Hu raised his voice.

“Not King, not King—I’m a servant, a servant!”

“Good that you understand. From now on, your name is Servant Sun Zi, how about that?” Lu Hu’s handsome eyes flashed coldly.

The Left Wise King shuddered all over. “Thank you, Deity, thank you—what a fine name! I am Servant Sun Zi.”

“Did you all hear that?” Lu Hu asked the crowd.

“We heard, Deity,” men and women replied in unison.

“Then call him by his new name. Such a splendid name—don’t let him forget it in his excitement.” Lu Hu smiled as he gave the order.

“Servant Sun Zi, come here and massage my feet. Be gentle—if you don’t please me, you’ll be punished by licking them, and then licking…”

Freed from his bonds, Ma Lihong was the first to jump forward, nearly blurting out her secrets, but catching herself, her face turned crimson as she quickly covered her mouth.

My goodness, I almost let slip the tricks I used to serve the King.

“Lady, Servant Sun Zi will massage your feet, lick your feet, whatever you wish—I’ll lick wherever you want, until you’re satisfied.”

“Shut your filthy crow’s mouth, shameless Servant Sun Zi! Do you think I want you to lick? Spit, spit, spit!” Ma Lihong, fearing her past would be exposed, lashed out like a shrew, flailing her arms.

She rushed over and unleashed a whirlwind of kicks, striking exactly where it hurt most.

The Left Wise King’s vital parts suffered a savage blow, and he howled in agony.