Chapter Seventy-Five: A Simple Theory

Chapter 75: A Simple Theory

Wang Rouhua believed her son had only taken things from the palace because he was greedy for a taste. Naturally, Wang Jian thought the same. Even the little princess, who had always been close to Tie Xinyuan, under Xiao Zhu’er’s coaxing, thought he must have spent all his money on armor and therefore couldn’t afford luxuries like plantains.

But Tie Xinyuan knew very well why he’d done it.

When he was with the emperor, he found himself utterly without a voice—the emperor didn’t grant him any say in matters. This left him seething with frustration. There was no way to vent this anger now, and perhaps there wouldn’t be a way for a long time to come.

The emperor was like the burning sun in the sky, and the Song dynasty under Emperor Zhao Zhen was like the noonday sun—whether its heat was gentle or cruel, you simply had to endure it.

This feeling of being powerless and taken advantage of left him deeply unsettled. Even though he’d been the one to present the armor, Zhao Zhen’s tone of entitlement wounded Tie Xinyuan’s pride.

Would it kill him to be courteous?

Stealing someone’s plantains and melons was a shameful act; Tie Xinyuan knew it wasn’t right. But if he hadn’t taken something from the palace that day, the anger in his chest would have burst out of his skull.

So, the plantains and melons were merely a weak consolation—a placebo to comfort his heart. The emperor had taken his armor; he, in turn, took the emperor’s plantains and melons...

He bit fiercely into a plantain, but the hard black seeds inside jabbed his teeth painfully. He didn’t spit it out; instead, he ground the seeds between his teeth, chewed them to a pulp, and swallowed.

“Damn it, nothing in the royal household is any good…”

Wang Rouhua, who was busy picking the seeds out of her son’s plantain, didn’t hear his muttered curse. Thinking he’d hurt his teeth, she chuckled, “Plantains aren’t especially tasty—too many hard seeds. If you don’t remove them, you can barely eat it. Besides, it’s not sweet. Just looks pretty, good for display on a fruit platter.”

Tie Xinyuan’s mood grew darker. Clutching the plantains she had prepared, he snapped, “These are all mine! No one else is allowed to eat them!”

“All right, all right, they’re all yours. But these are called plantains, not bananas, remember? Don’t embarrass yourself next time…”

With his face bruised and unable to go out in public, Tie Xinyuan could only endure his days at home. He knew Xiao Qiao’er was probably run off her feet right now, but he was helpless to assist, which made him all the more irritable.

The weather was freezing; the snow in the courtyard wouldn’t melt. Out of boredom, he swept it together to build a snowman—a carrot for a nose, two black gems for eyes, and a hat made from a ragged sack…

Wait—a pair of black gems? Where had those come from?

Startled, Tie Xinyuan snatched the gems he’d picked up from the ground off the snowman’s face and held them up to the sunlight for inspection.

Sure enough, in this era without glass, anything so crystal-clear could only be a gemstone. Glazed ware was even rarer and more precious than gems.

Raising the stones in his hand, Tie Xinyuan shouted toward the city wall, “I just found two pieces of jet. If no one claims them, I’ll toss them into the stove for fuel!”

Immediately, the little princess’s pretty face appeared over the parapet. Pointing at the gems in his hand, she called, “Those aren’t coal—they’re gemstones! I heard that Dugu Xin, one of the Eight Pillars of the Xianbei, used them for carving seals. Why not try it yourself?”

Tie Xinyuan scowled. “Did you drop these?”

The little princess replied nervously, “No, but maybe if you look around, you’ll find more…”

Seeing her both excited and anxious, Tie Xinyuan began searching the courtyard. In no time, he’d gathered eight colorful gemstones. One, a brilliant red ruby, shone with such luster it was clearly no ordinary stone.

Eight gemstones of different hues, plus two pieces of jet, lay quietly on his handkerchief, dazzling in the sunlight.

Tie Xinyuan never wasted a kindness, not even the smallest. He understood well that goodwill in this world was as rare and precious as a candle flame in winter—warm and invaluable. Receiving it was something to cherish.

“Gems can’t buy anything… only copper coins can,” Tie Xinyuan sighed to the princess.

“But… Father only rewarded me with gems… Ah, but they’re not really mine.”

“No matter whose they are, because you’re here, I found them. You’re the prettiest little fairy—I’m always lucky when I’m with you.”

Unaccustomed to such words, the little princess’s cheeks turned pink and, flustered, she disappeared from the wall, clutching a puppy as she hurried away.

Tie Xinyuan scratched his head, realizing his words might have been inappropriate. Spoken by an uncle, perhaps they’d be harmless; but from a child…

Still, the gemstones were a fine find. Xiao Qiao’er needed petroleum, and that was no small expense. In the Song capital, oil was used mostly for lighting in workshops. Petroleum wasn’t scarce, but it burned with thick smoke, so only places needing bright light at night used it.

The craftsmen were clever: when petroleum burned, it produced heavy black smoke. By screening the torches on three sides with waxed paper, the soot settled onto the paper overnight. This soot was then sent off to the ink workshops as an ingredient for high-quality ink.

Most of the Song dynasty’s petroleum came as tribute from the kingdom of Champa; some was produced locally in Yanzhou. It was a precious military resource—used for defense, offense, or blocking waterways.

Zeng Gongliang’s “Essentials of Military Classics” described in detail how to use “fierce fire oil.” Tie Xinyuan had even found the basic principles of a fire oil cabinet in it…

But the Song were always a bit naïve, or lax—despite discovering many uses for petroleum, they never grasped the simple truth that the essence lies in concentration.

Once the bruises had faded from Tie Xinyuan’s face and the swelling on his brow subsided, he went straight to Poluo Alley, where a smug Xiao Qiao’er led him to her crude oil distillation setup.

Tie Xinyuan could hardly believe his eyes.

There was a big pit, a makeshift fire, a large iron pot filled with crude oil, and two pipes of different heights sticking out—the entirety of Xiao Qiao’er’s homemade refinery.

Xiao Ling’er was feverishly feeding the fire, while Xiao Fu’er collected the oil dripping from the two pipes—the higher one surely gasoline, the lower one diesel…

“It’s… it’s going to explode,” Tie Xinyuan stammered, unable to get a full sentence out for a while.

“It’s exploded twice already. But I just made the pipes longer…”

“No one got hurt?”

“No, just once Xiao Fu’er got blown onto the roof by the blast. Nothing serious! I tried it once—the gasoline you mentioned is really useful, but it has to be sealed tight. Otherwise, half of it evaporates overnight.”

The refinery was set up in the courtyard of a house at the far end of Poluo Alley, near an old earth god’s shrine, beyond which lay an ancient graveyard—back when the capital was much smaller, this was still outside the city.

Now, it was the most desolate part of the capital. The shrine hadn’t seen incense in years; half had already collapsed. Foxes and rabbits haunted the place. Across the graveyard was the vegetable garden of the Grand Xiangguo Temple.

In winter, the garden lay barren and the monks had returned to the temple, making the area as desolate as a ghost town.

“You’ve blown it up twice, and no one heard?”

Xiao Qiao’er grinned. “Only old widows and the dying live here. Who would bother to investigate?”

“How did you get that big iron pot? Even a small oil leak could be a disaster—much more than just blowing Xiao Fu’er onto a roof.”

Xiao Fu’er sneered at his concern, banging on the iron pot. “Liu the Blacksmith made it—it’s solid. Three sheets of iron riveted together, then lined with molten tin. We filled it with water and checked for three days—not a drop leaked. Heated it with the lid on, and still no leaks.

“Liu said if it leaked even a drop, I could bash his head in with a hammer, but he’d still want his full payment.”

“Yet you still blew it up twice!”

“That was when we tried your ‘light oil.’ Damn, one small barrel blew half a dirt mound away. A big barrel sent Xiao Fu’er flying twenty paces onto a roof—amazing!”

Tie Xinyuan shuddered. “From now on, if I’m not here, you are absolutely forbidden to mess around with this. You have no idea how dangerous this is. We were lucky nothing worse happened. If something did, I’d never be happy again.”

Xiao Qiao’er laughed. “I’m the craftsman here—you’re not the boss. If we wait for your arrangements, Prince Pu’s family will be done celebrating the New Year!”

Tie Xinyuan retorted coldly, “Even when the New Year’s over, if this isn’t safe, you’re not allowed to do as you please. I just got beaten up. My mother says we mustn’t dabble with forces we can’t control!”

PS: “The Great Villain” Book Number 3637244

Heaven is unjust; disaster is reborn.

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“Stupid emperor, are you planning a rebellion?”

Gao Zhe often imagined that one day he could point at the emperor’s nose and roar this, and nothing would happen to him except scaring the emperor witless.

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